Would you take style advice from Katie Price?

No sane fashion critic would ever look at professional attention seeker, Katie Price (formerly known back in her glamour modelling days simply as Jordan) and say she has style. Yet, Jordan is not letting that get her down, as she’s come up with the ultimate “style” guide to help women learn to recreate her outfits, her makeup and even her surgically altered features.

“People are scared of Botox as they think their face is going to end up frozen and blank-looking,” explains Katie in one keynote address from Standing Out, “but I don’t have a very expressive face anyway so I don’t worry about not being able to show emotion. It’s not like I’m an actor and need to have that ability.”

But it’s not all cyborg glitz. “I remember one time I had a charity job in a poor part of India,” begins one heart-rending passage. “I arrived to find my suitcase had split and everything had vanished, so I didn’t have anything to wear for the job, no make-up, toiletries – nothing. As there were no shops I had to spend the whole three days of our trip in what I had been wearing on the plane. That was pretty shit, I can tell you.”

And there the anecdote ends, redefining the concept of putting things into perspective.

If you buy this book you need professional help. Fact.

Anyway, this blog was just an excuse to look at the orange lady’s terrible outfit choices, let’s all prepare to shake our heads in disgust.